Are you dreading something? Help is here!
There are many different kinds of future-focused overthinking and if, like me, ‘overthinker’ is your middle name, you most likely are intimately familiar with each and every one of them.
There’s the:
straightforward, yet pretty debilitating, worst-case scenario,
the trying to mentally prepare yourself for a certain conversation or situation,
and the overthinking that might look like this overpreparing, but is so specific it feels like your worries are almost destined to come true.
Today, we’re going to talk about a fourth kind of future-focused overthinking, but if your lovely noggin is currently in one of these spirals, I also got you covered!
Here are the posts specific to these types of overthinking that might help you soothe that stormy brain of yours:
For now, let’s talk about this specific kind of future-focused overthinking:
You actually already know it will suck
Something is happening, there’s no if about it; you know it’s coming and you know it will not be pretty. Category funerals, painful medical treatments, or New Year’s Eve when you have a phobia of fireworks. It. Will. Suck.
It may turn out to be a little better or a little worse than in your imagination, but over all, you know the scenario playing out in your upper chamber is pretty accurate, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Your mind somehow believes it’s doing you a favor by replaying this scene, made up out of all your past experiences, as if it will lessen the impact of the actual experience. Unfortunately, it will do the exact opposite. This is why:
The thing about your nervous system
Your nervous system can’t differentiate between what happens in your mind and in real life. So, in a way, you’re already experiencing all these horrible storylines, just by imagining them. You have, inadvertently, turned on all the alarm signals and made your nervous system believe you’re in danger and, therefore, go into survival mode. Which is depleting every tiny bit of your calmness and sense of safety, so there’ll be nothing left on D-Day, when you actually need it.
So to recap: your resilience is diminishing, feelings of unsafety are creeping up, and right now nothing is even really happening yet.
Right here, right now, you’re okay
And that’s the most important thing here. That, although it will happen, it is not happening right now. If you can find enough headspace to remind yourself of that, you’ll be able to find your way to the eye of the storm in your brain. But, how?
Well, let’s say your dentist appointment to fill a cavity is coming up. And you really, really, really don’t like going to the dentist. You can already smell the awful aroma of the dentist office (which apparently comes from something called tooth-dust, and you really didn’t want to know that, but now you do, you’re welcome), you can almost feel the drill going in already.
What might help during these overthinking spirals
What you can do to help yourself stop this spiral and come back to the here and now, is this:
Picture yourself in this particular scene, getting picked up by the scruff of your neck and pulled out of that place, and subsequently dragged to and dropped wherever you physically are right now - biting your nails while sitting on the couch or something.
The arm that picks you up in this visualization can be your own arm or the disembodied gripper arm of life. Whatever you like, it’s all good.
It’s a beautifully simple way to get your attention back to the here and now and give your nervous system a chance to not completely lose its shit before anything is actually happening.
You can wrap up the exercise by stamping your feet, or tapping your legs or arms, to also remind your body where it is. And perhaps, say something like: ‘‘I’m here now, I am here and I am safe.’’
And yes, my dearest human, you most likely will have to do this over and over again. But what’s important here, is that it does bring you back to the present moment. No matter how long the effect lasts, you are able to bring yourself back whenever you need to.
And that’s pretty cool if you ask me. 😎