Why the emotional guidance scale can be harmful

By now, you’ve probably already seen/heard someone mention Hicks’ emotional guidance scale at least once or twice before. If not, here’s the short & sweet of it:

In the (semi-)spiritual communities this scale gets mentioned a lot and it’s the foundation of many courses, especially when talking about manifestation. It’s literally a scale of emotions; at the top there’s stuff like joy, love and empowerment and at the bottom fear, grief and depression. Emotions are ranked by their ‘‘vibrational frequency’’.

So what’s the problem?

No matter how you look at it, it is a list of emotions ranked from better to worse. And sure, some feel better, but that doesn’t mean somehow they are better.

The possible effects of this scale on human beings:

1. We lose sight of the usefulness of our less pleasant emotions.

2. It suggests we should be able to control our emotions – and we’re not.

3. It encourages us to judge our emotions (which causes disconnection).

There are no wrong emotions

Let’s take anger. It ranks at #17 out of 22, so according to this scale, it’s not great. But anger is an emotion we very much need to warn us that our boundaries are being crossed. It’s also a powerful energy we can channel into standing up for ourselves.

More towards the middle of the scale, you’ll find boredom. It’s the first of the ‘‘negative’’ ones. Feeling bored now and then is really healthy and helpful; among other things, it’s a catalyst for creativity and problem-solving.

You cannot control your emotions

#22: Grief. Of course, grief is not something we can control in any way – shit happens and then you have to deal with it. Whenever you lose something or someone important to you, you are very likely to experience grief. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s how we process loss and get to the other side of it (eventually).

Then there’s depression, also ranking at the very bottom of the scale. What’s the worst thing you can say to someone who’s feeling depressed? ‘‘Things will get better’’ is high on that list, but at the very top you’ll find: ‘‘Hey, you’re vibrating at a really low frequency right now, so you’ll attract even more shit. Make sure you turn things around, and do it quick!’’ …

It’s all here to help us

Every emotion and experience that’s on the lower part of the scale, is still a way of our brains and nervous systems to help us, to give us information, to help us process, sometimes to warn us or even protect us from the things we’re not able to feel/process yet.

Understanding this, makes room for us to move the spotlight of our attention to what does help us in these moments – which is definitely not judging or rejecting it or trying to change it. And there is so much we can do, but it all starts with a little self-compassion. And practicing self-compassion will, for most people, not be their first reaction looking at this scale.

Trying to move up the scale

Even if you approach it in the gentlest of ways, the existence of this scale will most likely make you want to move up it, and that’s harmful in and of its own. Because you try to move away from what’s here, which will make you feel incapable, because, again, you cannot control your emotions, so you will keep ‘‘failing’’ at this, and inevitably judge yourself for it – something that has never made anybody feel any better.

Even with the ‘‘acceptable’’ emotions on the scale, if you’re not at #1, you will probably still feel like you need to change things to ‘‘improve’’ the way you’re feeling. Only, we’re not supposed to or able to experience things like joy and love very often. Those are the glimmers of life, and they are awesome, but we’re still only human, and will experience everything else on the scale just as (and probably even more) often.

You will forever move up and down this scale, because it’s not a scale. It’s actually more like bin in which all emotions live, mixed together, every single one just as worthy, useful and important as the next.

A more compassionate way of dealing with your feelings

Sure, it sucks to feel scared or unworthy, but the only thing that will not make it worse, is to try to meet this experience fully, and if possible, to meet it as a friend. To not make it wrong in any way, to not try to change it, but to let it be. And while letting it be, focusing on all the ways in which you can still, despite feeling this way, care for yourself, as to make it all a little bit less heavy to carry.

The most helpful thing will always be to try to not judge or reject whatever it is you’re feeling.

It might feel shitty, and you might want it to be different - both are not a problem. You can still decide to accept what already is and look for ways to move away from judgement and toward compassion. To keep coming back to the gentlest and most loving ‘‘it is what it is’’. Just like the song.

This will turn every emotion and experience into a wave on which you can surf (back) to your favorite self.

One emotion cannot change anything about your life or wellbeing. The way you decide to cope with each emotion can. With the ongoing practice of self-compassion you can grow your self-trust and self-empowerment. This is the power you do have, this is the thing you can control.